Season 1, Episode 11, “Standardized Test”

Guys and girls I don’t know what happened. The DVD’s I’m using had this episode as the next one, when it’s supposed to be “Superdad.” I found out when I went to check the name of this episode, “Standardized Test”, and turns out this is episode 11. So enjoy episode 11. I’ll get it all squared out by next week. I swear I should’ve done “The Wonder Years.” All those episodes are on Netflix and in order. Sorry about all this.

 

Episode 11 (surprising!) starts in the living room, unlike the kitchen with the last four episodes

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Mike and Carol are playing a board game and at the same time, Mike is listening to music through headphones. Carol can’t believe how he’s getting all the questions right. Oh and keep in mind folks this scene comes in handy later. Well some of it does.

A song comes on the radio from when Mike and Carol were younger. Then the brother and sister get up and start doing a stupid dance. Check out their pants. It may be the style back then, but both Mike’s and Carol’s pants look funny. They’re pulled up really high and look they’re giving them wedgies.

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Next Jason and Ben walk through the door and Jason immediately starts making fun of the two older siblings by doing the same dumb dance. Ben-the only sane one and this can go for just about every episode—looks at the others like they’re all idiots (like they clearly are) and says, “I hope this isn’t hereditary.”

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We hope not for your sake either, Ben. I like this kid more and more each episode.

Then Maggie walks in carrying the mail, with Mike and Ben’s report cards. Uh oh! Might be time to run for the hills, boys. Ben takes my advice and sprints upstairs. While Carol is excited, Mike obviously knowing how he did isn’t and he leaves the house before his parents have a chance to talk to him.

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Later in the kitchen, Jason and Maggie are discussing Mike’s grades consisting of mostly C’s and D’s with one B in Physical Education. Jason brings up how the reason Mike isn’t trying is because of Carol’s all A’s because he used to get all B’s before she came along.

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Now I want to see the episode where Carol gets a B. Maybe even a C.

Mike finally comes home and his parents want to talk about his grades. Mike brings up how he got a C average and Maggie asks, “Is that what you want to be Mike…Average?” Mike explains how the grades aren’t his fault because he has a personality conflict with his teacher but going on his grades, he has personality conflicts with all his teachers. Maggie brings up how he has to try harder.

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Mike walks out of the kitchen and into the living room. Mike says to Carol, “I wouldn’t want to keep you from admiring your A’s. He then grabs Carol’s report car and essentially calls her a nerd by saying she got an A in “advance nerdiness.” Carol says she’s not a nerd. Mike goes on to say that it’s ok to be a nerd because someone has to raise their hands and answer questions—and date other nerds on the Math team. Carol counters, Mike couldn’t even get an A if he tried. (This scene brings up what would’ve been a much better plot for the episode in Mike proving to Carol that he could get an A but no… Carol then reminds Mike of the “Standardized Idaho Test.”

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The next scene we see Mike at school about to take the “Standardized Idaho test” with his friend Richard next to him. Richard is scared about the test and brings up how great people are always seeing his brother, David, but not him.

How ironic. My brother’s name is David, but I won’t get into that here.

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The SIT test is handed out and instead of answering the questions, Mike chooses to draw a picture using the dots instead because he “doesn’t believe in these tests.”

Back at the house Jason is seeing a client diagnosed as a habitual liar. (This is by far one of the most pointless scenes I’ve seen in any television sitcom.)

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Next Jason and Ben are performing the dance from the beginning of the episode. Jason wants to practice it with Ben. (Don’t ask me, folks. I don’t write this stuff.) Then Jason receives a phone call. It’s Mike’s school telling him that he and Maggie need to go down there to discuss Mike’s IQ.

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At the school, the school psychologist wants to discuss how Mike got a 27 on his IQ test. The psychologist asks if Mike is brain damaged. Then he brings up how Mike has a problem with authority like how he put a bunch of baby Gerbils in a teacher’s tissue box. (Ha. Ha Ha. Now that’s funny.) Looking at the test, the psychologist says how he believes Mike does these tests this pathetic way on purpose.

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In the next scene, Carol comes home and Mike is playing his guitar. Carol comments how pretty it is and Mike tells her to piss off. Then all the stuff we already know about the IQ test is brought up again and Mike explains he didn’t focus intentionally because he thinks these tests are stupid.

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Jason and Maggie come home and want to talk to Mike. Mike says he did poorly on the test because he “felt like it.”

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Mike then says, “I didn’t realize how much these tests meant to you guys,” and runs off into the living room. While putting on his jacket, he brings up how they already have one smart kid and that’s enough.

Hold onto your seats, folks. This episode is actually getting touching.

Next up, Mike is sitting on the swing on the porch and Carol comes out to talk to him. He initially tells her to piss off again. Along with bringing up how he could try harder in school, she tells him that even though he might not be smart the way she is, that doesn’t mean he’s an idiot. He’s smarter in different ways. This is when the scene with the board game comes back up again because Mike was getting all the questions right and she couldn’t believe it.

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In a genuine moment, the two put their arms around each other and walk off.

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We can also seeing Maggie and Jason watching and listening in the background.

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Final Scene: Jason gets off the phone with Dr. Martin and tells Mike how he can take the test over. Ben comes in and Jason and he start doing that same dance from earlier in the episode.

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Another Seaver family-bonding moment except I’m thinking does Ben go to a progressive school where they don’t give grades or is he just considered the “little kid” and his grades don’t matter.

And that’s the point

Join me next week as I actually review Season 1, Episode 5, “Superdad.”

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