Season 1, Episode 10, “Dirt Bike”

This week’s episode, “Dirt Bike,” starts with Maggie checking the mail and seeing a lingerie magazine. Jason claims it isn’t his, but she catches him by looking on the back and seeing the magazine is addressed for him.

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The couple continues the conversation in the kitchen where Carol and Ben are eating ice cream.

Mike comes in claiming he just saw a very rare bird outside and that he actually gives a shit about nature. Turns out it was all a scheme and not for girl this time, but for Mike to be able to go camping with his friend Boner and Boner’s twenty-two year old cousin who’s still in high school.

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When explaining the details of the trip to Maggie and Jason, he purposely blows through the dirt biking aspect. That sits well with Maggie because they’re dangerous. After some talking they come back into the kitchen from the living room and tell Mike he can go but NO dirt biking!

The next scene Carol is interviewing Ben about his dreams for a school project. Like always Ben is screwing up one of her projects. Ben’s making dreams up just to get cash out of Carol, which messes with the conclusion for her project.

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Next, Jason and Maggie are talking in the kitchen, still going on about that lingerie magazine and also wondering how’s Mike doing in the woods.

Meanwhile we cut to the woods with Mike and his friends. The friends pressure Mike into giving the dirt bike a try.

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Mike is reluctant and tries to make up excuses like already having ridden better bike models and being told by doctors that he can’t afford to break another bone, but eventually Mike gives in and rides. After doing some unintentional tricks, he hurts himself really bad. Ain’t peer pressure a bitch.

In the next scene, Mike goes to a hospital to check how his rear end is doing. That’s where he hurt himself. All’s going well. Mike’s even using a fake name to throw his parents off. That is until his doctor recognizes him. He thought he was safe because he thought his doctor didn’t work on weekends. The doctor takes a look at the damage.

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Meanwhile back at home, Ben and Carol are completing Carol’s project. This is where she finds out everything Ben told him was a lie to get money. Well…as Ben states the dreams happened, just to people Ben knows, and not himself. At this point, Carol wants to kill Ben.

So Jason has decided to rent a dirt bike for the weekend so he can teach Mike how to ride since Mike “couldn’t do it” on the trip.

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Just as he brings the bike in Ben and Carol come running through the front door. Jason gets to the bottom of this. Get it… because Mike broke his ass. As punishment for lying, Ben has to do Carol’s chores for a week. That’s the end of a pretty uninteresting and pointless plot line.

Mike comes home and Maggie and Jason are surprised he’s home a day early. Mike says it’s because he “got in a fight with Boner.” Jason brings up the dirt bike but the problem is, Mike can’t ride it because of his ass. While Jason tries to get Mike on the bike, Maggie gets a call from Mike’s doctor.

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Maggie finds out about Mike’s lies and alerts Jason. They ground Mike for weekend. Not so much because he did it but because he didn’t alert his parents he was in pain. The real, nasty kind and not Max Payne.

Final scene: The Seavers are going to a movie. Mike doesn’t want to go because of the big embarrassing cushion he has to wear around his ass. Jason says no one will see because it’s a drive-in movie. Mike walks in and laughter ensues from the audience.

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And that’s the point. I hope you enjoyed another episode of Mike making a fool of himself and Ben being the only clever one. Please join me next week for another “exciting” day in the life of the Seavers and Growing Pains.

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